The Anxious Person’s Guide to Staying Sane During Holiday Travel

The holidays are all about good cheer, delicious food, fun games, and spending time with people you love. And if you’re one of the 119 million Americans expected to travel at least 50 miles to visit family and friends for the holiday this year, you might already be worried about the journey.

This time of year can feel like an absolute nightmare to anxious travelers in particular—crowded airports, constant delays, and traffic jams so awful you want to turn around. I’ve got pretty intense social anxiety and a germophobic lean, so holiday travel is…not exactly my cup of tea, and I completely get why it might not be yours, either.

But fear not!

If you’re a nervous flyer or someone who gets clammy hands thinking about people constantly coughing and bumping into you in TSA lines, I’ve got actionable tips to help you stay sane, prepared, and hopefully a little zen while you make your way home for the holidays.

Start Strong: Prepare Before You Go

Travel anxiety can hit us hard on any trip. Add the expectations of having that picture-perfect Christmas with limited time off—and millions of other people with the same stress and expectations at the exact same time—and you’re in for a wild ride.

As with most things that make us generally anxious, preparation is the first step to managing it. The more you can handle in advance, the fewer surprises you’ll face when they pop up.

Start with the basics. Make a checklist of the things you’ll need while on the road—like ID, boarding passes or tickets, and any items that you will absolutely require (like medications) should a delay or cancellation happen. This list should be comprised of the things that would be a disaster to forget and that you can’t go without for 24 hours or longer. Put all of those things in one easily accessible place, and make sure you’ll have them with you at all times. I bring a messenger bag with lots of compartments on my trips, and always store documents and other important things in their own designated pockets—that way, I know where they are and can get to them easily and quickly.

If you haven’t booked your flight yet, choose strategically. Early morning flights are less likely to be delayed due to weather, technical issues, and cascading disruptions. If you’re driving, try to leave during off-peak hours to avoid being stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic. If you can take alternative routes rather than the most direct (and likely busier) option, it’s more scenic and…well, you’ll probably arrive to your final destination at the same time you would if you got into a standstill on the highway.

Now back to packing. Keep your carry-on (or your most easily accessible bag, if you’re driving) stocked with things that make you feel better when you’re stressed out, like plenty of healthy and satiating snacks and drinks, headphones or earplugs to block out cacophonous noise, some cozy clothing in case you get cold or want something soft to hold onto, and plenty of entertainment, like podcasts, music, books, movies, and TV shows. Remember to download everything while you still have wifi—it would be a huge bummer if you got stuck on a multi-hour flight knowing you had a list of podcasts you wanted to catch up on, but can’t. Also download more than you think you’ll need! I love being able to change between shows, playlists, and books depending on my mood while traveling, and what I meant to read isn’t always what I actually end up reading once I’m settled in my seat.

Speaking of downloads: if you’re driving, download and save your route so you can conserve your battery and navigate easily even in dead zones. If you’re flying, get the app for your airline (and remember to sign in if you have an account) so that you can receive real-time-updates and have customer service information at your fingertips if there’s a delay, cancellation, or other issue.

Calming Your Nerves, Step by Step

Anxiety will creep up on you in a slow, aggravating fashion or hit all at once, especially in loud, crowded places like airports and packed highways. For me, it’s a constant buzzing that ebbs and flows until some (probably tiny and ridiculous) thing finally makes me shut down or snap at my sweet, patient, understanding husband. It’s embarrassing and unfair—but the good news? We can generally quiet the chaos in our heads with a few simple techniques, as long as we keep them top of mind.

Air Travel

• Set up an account with your airline and download their app. You might use American Airlines for most of your domestic travel, and the app makes it really easy to check in early, pay for any checked bags, and download boarding passes. It’s also great for flight status updates, and if you have a hiccup with a trip, it’s quick to connect with an agent who can help untangle snags.
• Give yourself a ton of extra time to get through the airport—way more time than you think you need. That includes every aspect of this leg of the trip: ordering a car or driving and parking, getting through bag check, making your way through security, running to the restroom, hurrying up and waiting, and then boarding. If lines make you sweat, consider investing in TSA PreCheck or CLEAR to speed things up for future trips.
• Once you’re through the lines and waiting to board, find a quiet spot away from the crowds where you can decompress. It can be so difficult to find quiet spaces during holiday travel, but you might be surprised—Google “quiet places at” your airport, and you might find that there are yoga rooms and other semi-secret areas that aren’t overcrowded, where you can take a couple minutes to breathe easier and then get back to it.

Car Travel

• Make sure you have everything that can be done on a mobile device downloaded and queued up for your drive. That includes anything from maps and navigation to entertainment, like podcasts and music. I like having audio navigation on so my phone tells me when an exit I need is coming up, or if there’s a slowdown ahead of me. For longer drives, my husband and I pick out podcast episodes and bands we want to listen to while on the road—before we pull out of the driveway, he’s got all of it ready to go so we have a fun mix of entertainment for both of us.
• Bring more snacks and drinks than you think you need, and try to bring a mix of healthy and fun food and drinks—if you don’t usually eat tangerines, don’t make them your only snack on the road just because they’re healthier than Combos or Bugles. The healthier option will make you feel better overall, but don’t forego the comfort snacks if you just need to grab a little something to get through this next stretch.
• Plan regular breaks to get out and stretch, use the restroom, take a few minutes to recompose, and grab more snacks if you need them. Mapping your exits out (or at least having a good idea of where there are more or fewer stops available along your route) can help as a mental checklist along your drive—rather than looking at the whole trip as one stressful undertaking, you can break it out a bit into more manageable checkpoints.

And with all of this, remember to breathe and do calming, grounding exercises. It all depends on you and the things that make you anxious—knowing the tools you need to breathe easy and stay centered in the moment, and remembering to use them, will help you get through the frenzy of holiday travel. If you’d like some ideas for calming things you can do in public spaces, have a look at this article from the Harvard Medical School, which includes relaxation techniques for situations that might put you on edge.

When the Unexpected Happens: Roll with It Like a Pro

All right. Let’s discuss how to deal with it when things don’t go as planned.

We all generally expect something to go off-script during holiday travel. A flight might get canceled. Traffic might turn your two-hour drive into five. A screaming toddler might sit directly behind you on the plane. Stay flexible, don’t get caught up in the negative emotions of the moment, and know that there are tools to fix any problem.

First, control what you can. Have a backup plan in your pocket before you leave home. Research alternative flights or routes so you’re not scrambling if there’s a hiccup. Know where your essentials are—keeping snacks, chargers, and entertainment on hand can make waiting around infinitely more tolerable. And remember to stay hydrated! Forgetting to eat and drink will break you down physically and mentally.

Second, reframe how you think about these moments. Instead of seeing a delay as a disaster, think of it as an opportunity. Explore art installations and out-of-the-way spots that you wouldn’t have noticed otherwise at the airport. Set up a comfy spot at an empty gate and watch that movie you downloaded. If you’re in a traffic slowdown, put on a feel-good playlist or a funny podcast. These moments might not be ideal, but they’re temporary and fixable. And when you finally do arrive, everyone will be so happy you made it!

Remember, you’re not alone in this. Flight attendants, gate agents, and roadside assistance are there to help travelers like you. Be kind and ask questions—they’ve seen it all, and they’re a wealth of knowledge when you’re stuck.

Keep Your Eyes on the Prize

Holiday travel doesn’t have to be a total nightmare. When anxiety threatens to take over, shift your focus to what’s waiting for you on the other side: family, friends, and the warm, cozy chaos of holiday togetherness.

Visualize those moments: the hugs, the shared laughter, the comfort of being around people who love you. Travel hiccups might be annoying in the moment, but they’ll fade away the second you walk through the door and smell turkey and pumpkin pie.

Over to you! What are your holiday travel tips? Share your advice and stories with the Frayed Passport community!

About the Author

As the editor-in-chief of Frayed Passport, my goal is to help you build a lifestyle that lets you travel the world whenever you want and however long you want, and not worry about where your next paycheck will come from. I've been to 20+ countries and five continents, lived for years as a full-time digital nomad, and have worked completely remotely since 2015. If you would like to share your story with our community, or partner with Frayed Passport, get in touch with me at sarah@frayedpassport.com!

Featured image by Sammy-Sander from Pixabay